For the Softies, It’s All About Friendship

Melberg: So I said, “We just make it like the Softies. Just interpret.” Recording that tape helped us get back into recording. It was a great way for Jen to get really back into her guitar playing again, too. We did that at the same time that we were writing the album, so it kept us loose and was this wonderful little side quest to keep Jen’s fingers moving.

What struck me most, seeing you both onstage then and listening to this album a year later, was just how deep the friendship between the two of you seems to be. How would you describe it?

Sbragia: Rose is my person. I hope to someday find a romantic partner that loves me as much as she does. It sounds weird, but before you joined the call and I was texting you, Rose, I said, “Yeah, we do this all the time. We talk every day, nonstop.”

Melberg: We met at such a tender time in our lives, so something locked in where we became each other’s safe person. We’re a funny pair. I think about our friendship sometimes, Jen, because we’re very different in some really fundamental ways, even though we both grew up in northern California in the ’70s and ’80s. We’re always lifting each other up about our insecurities, and we’ve been doing that for 30 years. To have this kind of friendship in middle age is a real gift. When we’re together, not just as the Softies, we’re still as silly and playful as we were when we were 22.

Sbragia: Also, there’s been periods where we weren’t that close, which maybe has to do with this time in our lives. I’m really leaning into my friend groups and realizing how important that is. I’ve lost three family members, with just one brother left from my core original family, so I’ve got to have my people close.

Melberg: We’re deep family: Jen and I are truly more like sisters. When I see early videos of us, we’ve always been tuned into each other. Even the times where we seem a little uncomfortable onstage, there’s a lot of looking at each other and checking, because we always knew what we were doing was a little weird. All we had to do was be like, “Are you cool?” “I’m cool. Are you cool?” And then, “OK, it’s cool.”

I firmly believe that platonic relationships, like best friends, are just as, if not more, rewarding and deeply loving than romantic relationships. How does music help your already strong relationship and the trust and love you share?

Melberg: My relationship with Jen started with music, so it’s really at the core: a similar sensibility, a way to encourage each other to create. We started playing music together practically the first time we hung out. So, when we’re together, it brings us back into this foundational part of our creative lives every time we start a song. The depth and the passion and the familiarity we saw in each other when we first met, that feeling is what fuels us. When we first started writing the songs for this album, we were positively giddy. It was like that feeling came back where I had nothing but a couple chords, and then the magic started to happen. We started laughing because it’s uncomfortable how good it feels.